With the sudden, unexpected loss of my mother’s partner in the early hours of this morning, I have been forced to step back and reconsider the frailty of life. Even with the occasional tension between the two of us (perhaps for the competition for my mother’s attentions) and my distaste for some of his mannerisms, he took wonderful care of my mother over their too-short chapter. He was a good man.
I had just seen him on Monday. Apart from the normal ailments of a man in his 60’s (and even lesser, given his rigorously physical work-life) and those of a smoking man whom would have benefited from a healthier lifestyle (that my mother tried to give to him), he had no complaints. I suppose what I mean to say is, even with the cigarettes and lackluster food-choices, he showed no overt signs of heart disease or extraordinary issues with his lungs (for instance, like my own father’s emphysema).
And yet still
last night he closed his eyes
and this morning he was no longer;
It’s a horrible thing. I feel absolutely terrible for my mother. When things ended between her and my father, they were both worse for the ware. After a few relationships that were not right for her, it had seemed as though she had finally found balance – her soulmate, you could say. And after tucking her in, kissing her on the forehead, sharing his last sweet and intimate words with her, he peacefully closed his eyes on this life – the life they shared together. One could say: It’s just not fair.
Let this be a learning experience, as I have. Never ever take the love you share with your partner for granted. Whether you are in the initial stages of a relationship or you have shared a life with this person for some time, it is easy to feel so comfortable so as not to appreciate all that they do for you. Try and look beyond differences – because it’s usually not a big deal – and express gratitude for the little things. Sure, it might not seem like much, but imagine if nobody thought to do it for you?
Don’t waste anymore time than you have to being unhappy. My mother said that today – and she’s right. Do whatever you have to to be happy. Do whatever you can to better your life and whatever you share with your partner. Don’t get hung up on frivolous arguments, don’t fall into the downward spiral of depression and self-pity (as I often do) and drown your partner in the abyss with you, and don’t sweat the small stuff, as they say. It’s just. not. worth it. It’s not.
You never know how much time you’ll have, and you won’t realize what you’ve got until it’s gone. Always make them know your Love;