People that take advantage of you are not analyzing your passive-aggressive actions. When someone says, “I’m going to take a break,” and you gruffly respond, “Do whatever you want,” and take over their work, they don’t stop to consider why you answered in that manner. Most of the time they don’t even notice – or care! Hey, as long as they get their umpteenth break and have to do less work, who gives a flying fcuk how you feel.
They don’t care about you. If you tell them, “Well I won’t eat now,” because they took their merry time, and now it’s too busy for you to eat, do you think they’re going to ask you to go eat first tomorrow? Or apologize? No, because 1.) they’re not mind readers and, again, 2.) THEY DON’T GIVE A FCUK.
We live in a cruel, cruel World;
it’s every Man for himself —
Oh, and it’s the hospitality-industry, people;
probably the least hospitable people on the planet.
I questioned him recently about what he had to prove and to whom. I was honestly curious as to whether he thought these people would wake up one day and – as if conked in the head by a coconut – realize the misdeeds of their past, or if, rather, he was doing this to prove something to himself.
I don’t know if he just felt cornered and, again, because of pride (!) did not want to admit that he was basically putting on some sort of show in the hopes of extracting some sort of specific reaction from his peers, but he said it was to prove that he could do it/didn’t need them to himself. And, honestly, I think that’s even more idiotic.
You should know who you are – you don’t need to suffer inhumane (or just plain uncool) treatment at the workplace just to prove to yourself that you are “better than others.” Their actions (or non-actions) have spoken clearly about their character – how insecure in your own skin must you be to feel the need to constantly prove what you already know. And, believe me, they know it to – all of this drama surrounding you can be partially accredited to their jealousy of your strength, youth, and skills.
So what does this all have to do with
the difference between Proud and Pride?
(Ok, I have taken some poetic license
in attaching positive connotations to “proud”
and negative to “pride”
in order to prove a point…
I am aware that neither one inherently
means one thing or another.)
I am happy that my husband is Proud of the good job he does. It is a wonderful thing to care so much about your actions and, thusly, to do them to the best of your ability so that you can, yes, take pride in them. This is, in my opinion, a somewhat lost characteristic amongst the younger generations.
However, Pride can be a Monster. You should never let your pride get between you and your happiness. Your pride or inability to admit mistakes, ask for help, change your ways, or beg forgiveness will ruin your life. It will take from you those that you love the most and those that you need. If you cannot admit to failure or a need for someone’s assistance, you will do a senseless amount of work, make innumerable mistakes, waste countless hours, and live in constant aggravation.
I love my husband. I am proud that he is the way he is – except for his Pride. I have had to tell him, though, that I no longer want to hear about his issues when he, himself, has caused them.
You can’t keep giving the same advice to someone who doesn’t want to hear it —