Nothing to lose: or, already lost it all–

I had another aunt – this time on my mom’s side – whom we lived with for about a month after we got married.  We helped pay her rent and took one of the rooms in her three-bedroom home.

My husband was working, but I was having trouble finding a job.  She, at the time, was working as a pizza delivery person while spending most of her daughter’s social security checks on marijuana (and the rest on rent).  She accused me of being lazy and not wanting to work.  That was just not the case.

And, then, even if it was?  If my husband is paying more than our fair share, I am always cooking for you and my cousin, and cleaning your home, then why is it any of your business whether I am currently employed or not?

So, she kicked us out.  Humorously enough, over the next few months she lost her pizza delivery job and bitched to me about “how hard it was to find a job.”  Ha!  As if I sympathized!  And, of course, even though she said that, never once did she apologize for being so accusatory towards me.

But I got over it.  As I always do.  I remained friendly with her and would still go over to visit her and her daughter.  She and I would look at the county jail website and see who was about to get released – she called it her dating service.  Until one of those men made something up about my husband and I – which she believed.

She also has not spoken to me in 3 years–



6 thoughts on “Nothing to lose: or, already lost it all–

  1. Just a head’s up first LoJu, the page advancing arrows are not working, at least for me. I had to keep paging back and click on the next page number to read through.

    So, we’re both on a ‘loss’ page today. Serendipitous. I appreciate your writing style; it connected with me. And while I read, heard and ‘get’ all you have been experiencing over time, what felt even more pronounced to me is your makeup, your inner strength, and your heightened awareness of quite simply, what is.

    Your Dad is to you what my Mom is to me (my Dad passed 18 months ago). I need her to live and gratefully, she continues to be of sound mind and body.

    My wish for you is that you be with healing, especially when it comes to yourself. Be selfish and take good care of you! The rest, as you closed with, isn’t going to matter. Thanks for sharing all that you have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Eric! I (think) I fixed them. I agree, it’s annoying to have to scroll down past tags, comments, etc to get to the page numbers – I don’t know why my theme is set up like that!

      True! That was my first thought when I read your post (and that you had seen two other posts on the same theme today!). I’m glad you found my writing enticing – at some point I got to that empty-headed, too-much-caffeine space and was worried what I had written was more like “blah-blah-blah…” Ha!

      I appreciate very much what you have said about my character. I have always felt that I am extremely adaptive(is that the right word?). In the sense that I have been thrown into extreme situations across the spectrum, and I have always managed to come out pretty much the same as when I went in.

      Thank you for your words of wisdom. =] Being selfish is something I often talk about – in some situations, I succeed, but, on the whole, it is something I have trouble with. I think I am just a people person. But, at the same time, I am quite solitary. I am a contradiction, I know. Regardless, I have a hard time putting myself before those I care about in most situations (and I care about a lot of people).

      I’m glad my words resonated with you. Here’s to many long years still for my father (and mother) and your mother as well! Thank you for the time you took to read and respond–


  2. A very depressing post. I guess my very simple-minded advice is: to give as much love as you can to the people that matter to you so that you won’t regret anything. I am not saying you shouldn’t fight but end the conversation by saying that no matter what you still love them.


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