Nothing to lose: or, already lost it all–

Then six months later, as we broke for Christmas, I received a late-night call from my father.  Well, I suppose it wasn’t late-night for him because of the time difference.

I answered, somewhat apprehensive due to the strange hour, “Hi Dad!”

“Are you sitting down?” he asked me.  I could hear the heaviness in his voice, and I felt like a ton of bricks hit me.  I had no idea what he could be about to tell me, but it definitely didn’t sound like it was going to be a good thing.

“It’s ok, dad; I’m out.  What’s up?”

“Your aunt and uncle – we’ve lost it all.”

“Lost what?” I asked, sincerely confused.

“The money.  There’s no more money.”  My brain whirred – I didn’t understand what he meant.  And I wasn’t sure what this meant for me.

“Oh.”  Then I paused.  “What?”

“The market crashed; nobody has any money anymore.”  I nodded.  I felt kind of empty.  Not in the sense because it bothered me so much, but in the sense that I wasn’t sure how I was meant to feel.


“We’re getting you a ticket to come home on Christmas- ”

“I’m not coming home,” I interrupted him.  Sure, my extended family’s money had allowed me to live in a certain area or to not worry about my finances, but I had never been that kind of person.  You know, the kind of Society person like my aunt and uncle had always been.

I would be happier

living on the streets of Rome

then stuck back in my City–



6 thoughts on “Nothing to lose: or, already lost it all–

  1. Just a head’s up first LoJu, the page advancing arrows are not working, at least for me. I had to keep paging back and click on the next page number to read through.

    So, we’re both on a ‘loss’ page today. Serendipitous. I appreciate your writing style; it connected with me. And while I read, heard and ‘get’ all you have been experiencing over time, what felt even more pronounced to me is your makeup, your inner strength, and your heightened awareness of quite simply, what is.

    Your Dad is to you what my Mom is to me (my Dad passed 18 months ago). I need her to live and gratefully, she continues to be of sound mind and body.

    My wish for you is that you be with healing, especially when it comes to yourself. Be selfish and take good care of you! The rest, as you closed with, isn’t going to matter. Thanks for sharing all that you have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Eric! I (think) I fixed them. I agree, it’s annoying to have to scroll down past tags, comments, etc to get to the page numbers – I don’t know why my theme is set up like that!

      True! That was my first thought when I read your post (and that you had seen two other posts on the same theme today!). I’m glad you found my writing enticing – at some point I got to that empty-headed, too-much-caffeine space and was worried what I had written was more like “blah-blah-blah…” Ha!

      I appreciate very much what you have said about my character. I have always felt that I am extremely adaptive(is that the right word?). In the sense that I have been thrown into extreme situations across the spectrum, and I have always managed to come out pretty much the same as when I went in.

      Thank you for your words of wisdom. =] Being selfish is something I often talk about – in some situations, I succeed, but, on the whole, it is something I have trouble with. I think I am just a people person. But, at the same time, I am quite solitary. I am a contradiction, I know. Regardless, I have a hard time putting myself before those I care about in most situations (and I care about a lot of people).

      I’m glad my words resonated with you. Here’s to many long years still for my father (and mother) and your mother as well! Thank you for the time you took to read and respond–


  2. A very depressing post. I guess my very simple-minded advice is: to give as much love as you can to the people that matter to you so that you won’t regret anything. I am not saying you shouldn’t fight but end the conversation by saying that no matter what you still love them.


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