Glorious Imperfection: and he flows through me —

***Warning: 

Adult Innuendo

His breath, like a whisper in my ear, speaks multitudes.  His story spills as from a fresh wound and puddles on the floor before us.  I dip my toes in to test the waters.  A beautifully uncomfortable sensation overtakes me, and, for a moment, my breath catches in my throat.

Should I speak?  I wouldn’t want to spoil the moment; its glorious imperfection.  But what of my silence? I wonder.  Does not my silence also leave wanting?  But no words make their way out of my parted lips.

And so I reach out to caress his arm, my fingers gracing scars that allude to stories that have yet to be told.  Touch is the only expression of my feelings that I see fit.  It is the only way that I might divulge what I wish without explicitly giving up my hand.  And I’d just as easily not relinquish that power.

His eyes are now focused on me.  In them I recognize a hunger – a hunger that cuts deeply into my flesh and penetrates my impervious veins.  That sensation returns, forgotten for a quick moment, and I feel magnificently disquieted.  He flows through me.

As far as my strength, before him I fall prostrate.  To resist – or maybe give in – I avert my gaze to the ground, hard and unforgiving beneath us.  It will not be this easy, I assure myself.  He will not have me.  I want out of this cold space where the darkness seems to swallow me whole.

Then I want to stay.

And then he moves toward me in a manner so deliberate that I could not help but wonder whether it was not I that moved toward him.  How could it be that he have such control over me that I do as he commands with no instruction?

Even as my eyes are fixed on the ground, I can feel him inside and all over me.  Even as I wish him away, I wish him closer just the same.  Oh, why won’t he just take me?  That would certainly put an end to any demure dissent.

I am inadequate.

And then it happens.  I disappear inside him – or him inside me, I can’t be sure.  But for one remarkable instant we are joined as one in the same under the heavy blanket of the night sky with no one as witness–

xLoJu

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