Living with Wild Abandon: or, the Bad Boy appeal —

This is an excerpt from my last (rather long, rather verbose) post.  I thought why bad boys have such appeal was a concept that deserved more specific discussion:

My best friend from childhood, the one I always speak about, calls me for relationship advice.  Or, rather, a decision between two “boys.”  She is my age and just as smart, but she is wholly inexperienced in exploring herself and in relationships.  I have been married nearing 5 years, so I can understand her seeking me out for advice.  Especially on such an appropriate query:

M: One of them is so smart and so respectful; he wants to treat me so well, but I just don’t feel it.  The other?  Such a bad boy.  Felonies and DUI’s galore.  A drop-out, a possible drug-dealer – no future, really.  But he’s just so exciting.

L: Smart and respectful.

M: But –

L: Smart and respectful.

M: But the bad boy –

L: Look.  I’m obviously not one to judge.  Obviously.  You know the choices I have made.  But, because of that, I am highly qualified to tell you that he will never change, you will never have stability, all those little quirks you find so adorable, so exciting, so bad – you will resent Him.

L: I am not telling you it will not be exciting; I am not telling you it will not be passionate; I am not telling you it will not be worth it.  I am telling you, it will be hard.  I am telling you that you will have to sacrifice.  I am telling you that your protected, sheltered life as the Perfect Chem Grad Student as you know it will cease to exist.

L: You will cry.  You will laugh.  You will hate him.  You will love him.  You will try and fix him.  You will try and support him.  You will put his needs before your own.  You will want him.  You will need him.  You will lose him.  You will have him… and at all this?




L: Although, somehow, it will still be worth it.  If you can handle it.

M: I know.  You’re right.

Well, she still went with the bad boy.  Needless to say, it was over before it started.  But that’s because, in that way, she is smarter than I am.  She knows that, for her own happiness, some amount of selfishness is a necessity.



8 thoughts on “Living with Wild Abandon: or, the Bad Boy appeal —

  1. Oh yes! Your advice is true.
    But, bad boys are just undeniable and exciting.
    Why do we put ourselves through that, again and again?
    Its like we dont even WANT to learn from that particular mistake. 😛

    Well written. 😀


  2. I really like how you’re not condemning choosing the bad boy, it makes the post come across in a wonderfully reasoned and balance way. I would say that you could do with looking at your placement of commas in the first few paragraphs. The grammar just didn’t seem to flow just right when I was reading it, and the use of tense threw me a little as well. I couldn’t work out if this was supposed to be in past tense or present.
    The dialogue gave you a great dimension however. Coupled with how concise the post was it created this fantastic, snappy post that kept my attention right the way through and left me wanting to read more of your work. It’s a great example of blogging done well in my opinion.


    1. In condemning choosing Mr. Bad Boy, I would be condemning myself!

      As for the comma-splicing…thank you for pointing that out. My brain is rather disordered, so I can imagine that my writing comes across in that manner at times as well. Also, Italian has become my “first language” over the past 5-6 years, so what I think in Italian frequently comes out rather jumbled in English. In romance languages, for example, you can change the meaning or type of sentence (or even emphasis on specific words/ideas) by changing around the structure of a sentence. I have gotten comfortable doing this, but I suppose it doesn’t work that way in English…!

      I will say that I was taught as a child that you must first learn the rules [of grammar] to be able to eloquently bend them. I have always been a rabble rouser, so my abuse of commas might just be my version of breaking the law! Haha =]

      But I will definitely take to heart what you have said and try to be 1.) more clear and 2.) less generous with my comma-gifting…! As for your confusion in regards to tense, I’m not sure what part you’re referring to. If you could point it out to me, perhaps I would be able to see. If you are referring to the beginning of the post versus the body, it might have something to do with the fact that I copied and pasted the first few paragraphs from a portion of a post I had written prior that I felt deserved more specialized discussion.

      I appreciate very much the time you have taken to read my words and your comment, your criticism, your advice, and your compliments!


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