The Bartender Therapist: or, a harem forming about me

My best friend from childhood, the one I always speak about, calls me for relationship advice.  Or, rather, a decision between two “boys.”  She is my age and just as smart, but she is wholly inexperienced in exploring herself and in relationships.  I have been married nearing 5 years, so I can understand her seeking me out for advice.  Especially on such an appropriate query:

M: One of them is so smart and so respectful; he wants to treat me so well, but I just don’t feel it.  The other?  Such a bad boy.  Felonies and DUI’s galore.  A drop-out, a possible drug-dealer – no future, really.  But he’s just so exciting.

L: Smart and respectful.

M: But –

L: Smart and respectful.

M: But the bad boy –

L: Look.  I’m obviously not one to judge.  Obviously.  You know the choices I have made.  But, because of that, I am highly qualified to tell you that he will never change, you will never have stability, all those little quirks you find so adorable, so exciting, so bad – you will resent Him.

L: I am not telling you it will not be exciting; I am not telling you it will not be passionate; I am not telling you it will not be worth it.  I am telling you, it will be hard.  I am telling you that you will have to sacrifice.  I am telling you that your protected, sheltered life as the Perfect Chem Grad Student as you know it will cease to exist.

L: You will cry.  You will laugh.  You will hate him.  You will love him.  You will try and fix him.  You will try and support him.  You will put his needs before your own.  You will want him.  You will need him.  You will lose him.  You will have him… and at all this?

You will 



L: Although, somehow, it will still be worth it.  If you can handle it.

M: I know.  You’re right.

Well, she still went with the bad boy.  Needless to say, it was over before it started.  But that’s because, in that way, she is smarter than I am.  She knows that, for her own happiness, some amount of selfishness is a necessity.


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