The Great Depression: and The World Standard

At what point do you admit that if it’s you against the world that you must be wrong about something If you are constantly angry, if you constantly feel slighted, if every day is a fight – at what point do you stop to think: 

I must be

wrong

about something —

For every four days of fighting, you have two of apologies and one that really doesn’t seem so bad.  Then the final night passes, and it all starts again from the beginning like a broken record that keeps spinning the same lilting melody.  Your life becomes this daunting, unfulfilling thing, and you can’t help but to wonder why?

Even worse, perhaps, is the fact that not only are you hurting yourself, but you are hurting those that care about you or care to be loved by you.  Even worse, perhaps, is the fact that those that have stuck by you through your hour of need, your problems, your complexes, your rage and your hate are suddenly non-responsive.  It’s almost as though a light switched on in their brain, and they suddenly realize that… 

your self-loathing

is the reason 

for their own suffering

and feelings of

inadequacy —

Those that love you suddenly realize that they are not living because they have given so much of themselves to you that they have forgotten who they were.  Those that love you suddenly remember that they are wonderful people whom deserved to be cared about and loved and put before anything else in somebody’s heart (too).  

Maybe they suddenly realize that they can’t change you.

Maybe they suddenly realize that it’s not their fault.  You have always succeeded in making them feel at fault for your suffering.  Or at least feel bad for your suffering.  Always feel like you’ve suffered so much that they must accept your disrespect and intermittent cruelty.  

But maybe with this realization,

people will walk out of your life

from one day to the next

like the breeze on a

yellow

summer

day. 

Or maybe they won’t.  Maybe they are stronger than that.  Or maybe weaker.  Maybe they love you too much.  Or maybe you have negated their worth so often that they have begun to doubt themselves.  

Maybe that fleeting moment of strength passes them by before they even realize it, and the opportunity to free themselves from the wretched arms of another’s suffering disappears like a firefly in the night.  For this moment.

But if you don’t change.  If you don’t embrace the world with open arms.  If you don’t approach each day with an innocent positivity and stop looking for the great depression, well…

their firefly

will always

flicker

again — 

xLoJu

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s